UnlivedPhalanx McMahon
UnlivedPhalanx McMahon is a raging Mexican Cuban who currently holds the rank of Legionaer. He is known in Chaos for being a giant history nerd, hating communists, and also being really open and understanding about aqueducts. History Cult Phase Unlived was first recruited by Tyro Gutter at some point in January February of 2015. During his Cultist phase, he was assigned Fallen Wasp as his Corruptor. Having been told of Unlived's personal issues with communism, Fallen handed him his cultist tasks according to that. They consisted of: # Listening to the Soviet National Anthem for ten minutes, while hot micing on Teamspeak. # making a giant raft out of his Mandalorian armor, with at least one Soviet banner on it. # Singing the Soviet National Anthem in english to everyone on Teamspeak. Accomplishing all these like a total boss as well as his obstacle courses, he was promoted to E-1 a couple of weeks after joining. Legionaer After becoming a Legionaer, Unlived continued to be trained by Fallen in the Ferrum Division. After accomplishing tank training, advanced obstacle course and the shoot house, he was promoted to E-2. It didn't take long for him to love Chaos. I mean finally a place with no autism or faggotry, with no tolerance for furries, fuckin paradise. During a raid on the autists on Meggido, Unlived saw something that would make him forever salty: The fuckwads had an Aqueduct running around through their sim. Seeing this made him imbued with the very wrath of Khorne, because any fucktard who's ever picked up a history book would know that Aqueducts are a Roman innovation, and weren't fucking around in 1,500 BC. FUCK, HOW FUCKING RETARDED CAN YOU BE. FUCK THIS SHIT. Aqueducts YO FAGGOTS, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT The Aqueducts, as stated above, are a Roman innovation. Prior to Roman badassery, people had to rely on local water sources to get their shit. NOT ANYMORE KIDDIES. Becoming popular in the early Imperial era, The Romans began spamming Aqueducts all over their cities. Like, it was almost impossible to see a major Roman city without an Aqueduct keeping it well supplied, and each one could support a million people or so. Each city's water supply divided into three channels: # Public Amenities: public baths, fountains, etc. etc. # Government buildings # Private homes that paid their fucking water bill In the event of an emergency, the government would shut down the water supply in order of : Private homes, Public shit, and as a last resort, government buildings. Wargear Khornate Primary: Heavy Bolter Secondary: Laspistol/Chainsword Roman gladiator-inspired helmet with super awesome mohawk Trophy-bacon, cooked from the flesh of slain furries Tzeentchian Primary: Bolter Secondary: Laspistol/Chainsword Super spooky hood Three sacred books taken from the Black Library of Tzeentch himself: # The Book of Aqueducts: imbued with infinite wisdom regarding aqueducts so as to educate fuckwads from meggadildo # Autism Vol. I: The first of several sacred texts on Autism. Unlived hopes that it will help him understand the retardation that plagues the community. # The Book of Bacon: The grandest of Tzeentch's books, this book was found deep within the Black Library. Imbued with bacon strips that hold the power of the warp, it dramatically increases furry-purging potency.